Hello Confident Lady,
This week we are talking "resiliency". First let’s talk definition. Resilience is the ability to “bounce back” when faced with hardship and challenges.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself this week:
// Do I consider myself resilient?
// How do I react during trials and adversity?
// Do I come up with solutions rather than being reactive and getting into scarcity (lack) mindset?
// Is this something I need to work on?
// How is it affecting me in my business?
First, I want to share a few tips that have worked for myself and my clients:
1. First know that resiliency isn’t something you automatically have. It’s a skill that is developed over time through hard work and dedication.
2. The best way to start paving the way to a resilient mindset is to start looking at the world different. We all know that mindset is really perspective, the way you view the world and the situations happening around you. You have have a CHOICE. You can scream and cry when you’re stuck in traffic OR you can make the most of the time you have in the car (since there is nothing you can do to change it) AND look at it as possibly a detour in the road to protect you from something. When I worked as a social worker in bad neighborhoods this was something I learned quickly. And specifically, because an appointment was canceled I literally was saved from being shot in the head. I have example after example of ways God has protected my life by not allowing things to go as I planned.
3. Ask yourself, how have my past disappointments and heartaches, shaped me into who I am today? Know that no matter how painful and trying your life has been, that it is possible to “bounce back”. I love how Carl Lentz quotes “You have a CHOICE. You can allow your pain to become your PRISON or your PLATFORM”. Which have you decided on? I know it’s not easy to see the bright side of pain, but the first step is saying it outloud and then vowing to practice acceptance around.
4. Acceptance does NOT mean approval or agreement. I do not approve or agree with the painful things I experienced in my lifetime, but I can accept that they happened and MOVE on. I can take that pain and use it as a tool to empathize and understand others better. I can turn that pain into a passion to fire my mission.
Make sense?
+++++We all have a choice…….we can get back up even stronger or stay down++++
Now I'm gunna get a little personal! Not because it’s fun for me, but I believe it’s important to use past pains as a platform to give encouragement when it’s appropriate. Most of my life I had a pretty crappy mindset. I experienced a lot of emotional pain, disappointments, people pleasing, and self pity. I was always in the mindset of “why does EVERYTHING always happen to ME. I can never catch a break. The world and my life are just against me.”
Ok not cool and not certainly not an ideal way to go about your life. I walked around (or should I say wandered) in a “lack” mindset. In 2009 while I was getting my Masters at Columbia U I realized I was sick and tired of living this way. I called up health services and asked to see a therapist. Over the next 12 weeks I learned skills and ways of shifting my mindset that I was never exposed to. I had no idea this was something that could be changed. From that day on I accepted the past pain I experienced and decided to not allow it to control my life any further.
I am telling you this because I want to see you succeed and stop staying stuck in lack mindset loves! We all have a CHOICE. If you want to bounce back after hardship you need to continually work on your mindset. And remember, mindset is not something that you “master” and move on. It’s something you continually need to nurture each and every day.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you overcome a lack mindset or is this something you know you’d like to work on? Do any of the tips or story hit home or confirm something you've been feeling for some time? I’d love to hear your feedback and even experience with this. Please share below in the comments.
XO Kate